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February was such a good month for me in spite of the fact that I am having a hard time listing down the reasons as to why, seeing that the one thing I started towards the end of the month that I am most excited about since then has overridden all my sensibilities and focus that it is all I could think of right now. Regardless, it was a good month, I am sure of it! And I am so happy.

The one thing I am most excited about: I made a video and started a YouTube channel!

Well, it’s nothing much, really. Actually, it’s just a vlog the same as HeyHye’s 2 Seconds a Day that I have always wanted to do for myself since I discovered her videos and channel a few years ago. I honestly took a lot of inspiration from her in making and editing this vlog—wait, is it a vlog? I mostly associate that word ‘vlog’ with the more busy people or influencers and their videos about their more eventful lives. Mine is truthfully just a compilation of my everyday life watching television and staying at home, filmed with dirty camera gear, and done with beginner grade videography and editing skills. I am a mere child showing off an artwork of messy scribbles and it’s quite ridiculous. A wave of embarrassment washes over me sometimes when I really think about how excited I am over this but overall, I’m not sorry. I'm still proud.

Perhaps it is because it’s been a long while since I tried something new and enjoyed it; since I dared myself to try something I have been very curious about for a time now that made me very excited about a measly video. Perhaps it is because I was learning, truly felt and realized that learning is beyond the 4 walls of a classroom and I felt really happy and proud of myself for it. See, I have been a victim of thinking and assuming that learning can only happen at school, within the educational system, and only in a classroom. It is one of the many reasons that I feel insecure about after dropping out of university. I felt… well, ignorant and that there’s no room for improving because I rejected school. Yet, while my first experience of video editing—especially learning how to use Adobe Premiere Pro—has been honestly so confusing and a bit brutal, I truly felt such wasn’t the case. Apparently knowledge and the opportunities to learn is everywhere. Honestly, you can find anything on the internet. You just have to remain constantly curious and try.

And the process of learning is truly the best feeling there is. So, loudly clearing my throat and then in my most fake cheery voice, like and subscribe!

Consumption

WandaVision

For the entire month of February, I have been counting down the days every week in anticipation of the release of a new episode of WandaVision. I have also been closely following theories and breakdowns, mostly by New Rockstars.

I love this show so much! Not only because it’s full of easter eggs and opening to MCU’s Phase 4 that makes the inner geek in me very thrilled but the characters, the story, and the overall production is very well done! Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany did so well. Olsen is a queen and I will fight for her. Ah, I have so many thoughts and so much love for this show but at the present moment, as I am writing this post, I still have not recovered from all the emotions (re: bawling my eyes out) from watching the epic finale two days ago. I might fangirl about WandaVision in another post.

Jujutsu Kaisen

But the one that takes the throne for being my main hyperfixation this month is Jujutsu Kaisen.

My obsession for this anime exploded when I decided to read the manga in an effort to uplift my spirit after having a bad week and to distract myself from restlessly anticipating all my other current media/content that seems to be all crammed into Friday and Saturday.

Of course, I am who I am and I wasn’t able to pace myself, ending up reading the entire thing up to the current issue. *shrugs* I could say that it was so good that I wasn’t able to stop reading, which it really is, but if I’m being honest, it’s just I get too wrapped up and fixated about every little thing these days.

Other content to take note of:

  • Measure of A Man: A Dramione fanfic by one of my favorite fanfiction writers, inadaze22. The fic is still ongoing but so far, it’s very well done with in-depth writing. The characters are... how do I put this… well-layered, I guess. It is also well detailed that makes the whole world and plot very vivid and interesting. It makes you truly absorbed while reading and leaves some thoughts or emotions to ponder on. I truly love it.
  • Framing Britney Spears: The only movie I watched in the month of February apart from rewatching some of my favorites like The Sound of Music (a day before the news of Christopher Plummer’s passing RIP) and Hamilton. Anyway, I watched this movie at the eve of my birthday and it made me almost threw my laptop in frustration.

Create

Paint With Me by Art With Em

I didn’t paint at as much as I wanted to nor as much as I did in the previous month. I only did a sort of “practice” using acrylics by following along a video I found on YouTube. It turned out to be a good practice for me. It taught me how to loosen up—while painting and about my art.

There’s always been a love and hate relationship between me and art, mainly born out of fear. Fear of starting. Fear of hating what I did because of my unkind standards. But through this exercise, I think I’m getting better. At the very least, I started enjoying my sketchbook and not try too hard making it perfect… which I never really do because let’s be honest, I suck at art and so I just ended up not using my sketchbook, a place meant for exercise and practice and making a mess, at all.

Editing Photos

Again, it’s nothing spectacular but I have to take note since this what started my motivation and inspiration for learning a new program (Adobe Premiere Pro) and having the patience to edit a video.

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Not a sunset. I took a early morning walk! Wow. I'm a changed person.

And last but definitely not the least, I restarted this blog this month! The whole thing—especially writing my ‘Palette’ post took most of my creative juices this month. Its good though since that post was more of me ironing out my thoughts. Basically a self-help and I’m more or less in debt for the very good month that I had.

February was great. There was a slight dip in the middle for a week after I had a bad dream (which was weird, I never was haunted by a bad dream until now) but I truly enjoyed myself. This month was my birth month and for the first time in a while I wholeheartedly loved my birthday. That alone was a great feat in itself but, enjoying myself in the days leading up to the day I turn older as well as the days after was such a great added bonus, too.

And now that I have exhausted my fixation that I had for video editing, I’m planning to satisfy yet another curiosity I have had at the end of last year for the month of March. To turn my good month of learning and being curious in February into a streak. Perhaps that would be what my 2021 will be all about, a year of satisfying curiosity in the creative field. A year of trying things and finding new hobbies.

That’s a good plan all around, I think. I’m excited.

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